I’m in a moment of motherhood I truly enjoy. I’m absolutely loving my life as a stay-at-home mom, but this was not always true. Having three children in two years led to many frustrating and exhausting experiences, but I feel as if the girls are old enough now that days can pass at a time without me feeling overwhelmed. The nature of small children who are still learning can lead to many difficult moments, but thankfully they are balanced with many adorable, heart-warming ones as well. Well right now, the balance has shifted to mostly amazing times, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
After the last month, a dark month, I needed this. I needed to be surrounded by my children’s love, as opposed to being overwhelmed by their needs. The twins stopped napping right after I miscarried, and although initially devastating, it’s actually become one of my favorite parts of the day. Baby V goes down, and I put a movie on for the girls for “quiet time.” I leave the bathroom door open, water cups on the counter, and I get to do whatever I need to do: eating, cleaning, or reading. The girls have embraced that this is quiet time for not only them, but mama as well. They don’t fight or run around or spread toys everywhere. We clean up the living room together, and then they sit quietly on the couch while I putter around in the kitchen doing this and that. I feel as if we have achieved the ability to engage in individual activities but still be together, and I love it!
For one of the few times in my life, I’m exactly where I want to be. Despite the bills, the grief, the struggles, I feel incredible joy. I’m not looking ahead or behind me; I’m actually able to be present, an enormous feat for a girl who has always wanted to be somewhere different.