ASK JACQUE: Breastfeeding, PPD, & Miscarriage – MommySync
Ask Jacque

ASK JACQUE: Breastfeeding, PPD, & Miscarriage

Should I stop breastfeeding?

I’m a fist time mommy and I adore my new baby. I have been breastfeeding for 7 months now, with the occasional bottle of formula here or there. I had always planned on breastfeeding until at least one year but I am starting to feel like I am ready to stop. I feel very guilty for wanting to quit nursing and worry I may regret it, or it will change the connection I have with my baby. Should I follow my instinct to stop or should I tough it out a little longer? -Guiltymommy

Dear Guiltymommy,

You have nothing to be guilty about! You are putting thought into what is best for you and your baby. What else can you ask of yourself? I am a huge proponent of following your instincts and not the opinions of everyone else around you. If you feel it’s time to stop, honor your intuition. There are enough moments when we need to tough things out as moms. There’s no reason to create more opportunities, especially if it doesn’t sit right with you. And there are so many wonderful ways to bond with your baby. Breastfeeding is simply one of them, and there’s a time limit to it. Only you know when that time is up.

I think I have PPD

I think I have postpartum depression but I’m scared to ask for help. I don’t want to risk losing my child. Have you had experience with this? I’m so scared. -Scared Mom

Dear Scared Mom,

This is such an important topic. Thank you for being brave enough to reach out. Many women struggle with PPD, and the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to contact your OBGYN and therapist/psychiatrist (if you already have one). If you have PPD, you have done nothing wrong. This is simply how your body is adjusting after pregnancy and delivery. And although I personally have not struggled with PPD, I have friends that have, and a combination of psychotherapy and medication was a game changer for them. They are thriving and loving their little one now. You don’t have to suffer, and you definitely don’t have to suffer alone. Please contact your doctor for an evaluation. You deserve to take care of yourself.

I’m pregnant, but my best friend miscarried

My best friend and I have always wanted to be pregnant together. But she recently miscarried, and I just found out I’m pregnant. I haven’t told anyone yet, and I don’t know if I should tell her sooner or later. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t want to leave her out.¬†What do I do? -Hurting Heather

Dear Hurting Heather,

First of all, congratulations! Although it can be hard, try to enjoy this moment. Second, these situations are always so difficult. Here are a couple of things to think about. Your friend probably wants to hear about your pregnancy from you and not from another person, so it might be prudent to make sure you tell her before anyone else finds out. But this doesn’t mean you need to tell her ASAP. I have a very difficult time keeping my pregnancies quiet because I get so sick, so I usually have to tell people very quickly. But there is nothing wrong with taking a little time for yourself to cherish the moment before sharing the news. And when you feel like you’re ready, then you tell her exactly what you told me, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I don’t want to leave you out.” I’ve found that being transparent with difficult situations and acknowledging the potential conflict and tension is better than pretending that everything is ok. And just remember, you are still a wonderful friend, even though you’re pregnant, and your best friend isn’t. You have done nothing wrong, and you deserve to be happy, while also being considerate of your friend’s situation.

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